


a tall tale get it? haha wait eiji don't leave-

by equinoctial



Series: hecking superb you funky little whippersnapper [2]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Akira and Sing here are just good homies, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, im sorry class, spoiler alert: the h word is height
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 01:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17416466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/equinoctial/pseuds/equinoctial
Summary: “We don't say the H-word in this household.”“Heck? Hell? Hfuc-”“No that's not it,” Ash spared a quick glance to his husband innocently cooking up some noodles, huffing and puffing as he tiptoed to get the spices from the top cupboard, even though the stepping stool wasright there--





	a tall tale get it? haha wait eiji don't leave-

_“Aslan...wake up!”_

 

Bed soft. Eiji was also soft but he was leaving the bed. The solution was to put the two softs to reach peak softness, and so he pulled the soft husband back to the soft bed. This was it. This was breakthrough his brain cells were set out to do-- to reach the epitome of _Soft_.

 

_“No! Aslan I… drag… the stairs."_

 

Mmmmnhnhm Eiji warm. Eiji Soft. Baby. Baby boy.

 

_“Dammit Aslan!”_

 

 

_\---_

 

 

Akira’s first impression of Okumura-san’s husband was that he looked like he had just stepped out of a Hollywood blockbuster spy film. He was undoubtedly a very beautiful man, his demeanor gentle but his eyes were sharp and cold, clearly mistrustful of his surroundings-- making her hesitant to make the first greeting. An air of mystery had surrounded him, accompanied by an aura dangerous and untouchable.

 

But then, when Mr Callenr-- _Ash_ saw Okumura-san, he looked like he just stepped out of a romantic comedy instead, with his half-smile all dopey and smitten as he practically skipped to greet Okumura-san. The way he laughed was akin to that of a child, innocent and carefree.

 

She really didn't know what to think of Ash. He was an enigma, a dichotomy between cold-blooded and warm-hearted.

 

“Who is Ash?” Akira questioned Buddy, who was her only company in today's early hours of the morning. The jetlag was still in her system, so she couldn't get back to sleep after waking up at dawn, and she felt bad if she woke the couple upstairs.

 

Buddy barked in response just as she went back to her journal writing. But when she was about to write the word “enigma” into the ratty notebook, a loud crash brought her attention to the top of the stairs.

 

There was the slam of a door, then a grunt, before Okumura-san appeared around the corner with a sigh, donning Nori Nori pajamas and a bird’s nest of a bedhead. Akira thought he was wearing his quilt as a cape, but upon further inspection it was actually Ash who was holding on to the quilt, _as well as_ Okumura-san.

 

He was all limbs as he hugged Okumura-san’s back like a koala, very much half asleep, very much still clutching onto his quilt half naked, and very much nuzzling his husband’s neck with a weird growly purring sound.

 

Akira didn't know whether to be shocked at such a blatant show of affection from Ash, or to be impressed by Okumura-san’s upper body strength.

 

An enigma. Truly.

 

“Aki-chan! I didn't know you were awake! I'll quickly go make breakfast-”

 

“Uh,” Akira watched as Okumura-san casually made his way down the stairs with the weight of one whole American on his back, opening the fridge to procure the miso paste and a few leftover side dishes from yesterday. “I already had toast for breakfast, if that's okay.”

 

“That’s great! That’s definitely okay! I was afraid you were starving but I'm glad you helped yourself to some toast. Make yourself at home okay? Please help us finish the food in the house,” he quipped, swivelling around to grab a small boiling pot from the cupboards, accidentally letting a few pans bump into Ash’s head, eliciting small annoyed whines from the blonde.

 

“Mngnhn Eijiiii-”

 

“Oh hush you big baby,” Okumura-san scoffed, reaching into the fridge once more, bringing out a small container, which he then opened and scooped a spoonful of what appeared to be natto.  The spoon went straight into his husband’s mouth.

 

His reaction was immediate.

 

“Pftbt- aw fuck that’s _rancid,_ fucking hell!” Ash sputtered and instantly spat it right out, clamouring off of Okumura-san only to tumble onto the marble tiling of their kitchen floor with a thud, the blow softened by the quilt. Buddy hopped off the kitchen chair to join his owner on the ground, physically and metaphorically licking his wounds. “Couldn’t you wake me up normally?”

 

“What? Like turning the shower head on you? I would, if _somebody_ actually let go of me long enough to get into the tub,” Okumura-san tutted, the tiny spoon waving threateningly above Ash’s head as he cleaned up the mess. “Now look what you’ve done-- you swore in front of Akira, and you’ve wasted my perfectly good natto. Go upstairs and freshen yourself up quickly, I’m making breakfast.”

 

Ash only grumbled in affirmation, pouting as he wrapped the quilt around his shoulders. The blanket dragged across the floor as he made his way back upstairs, looking like a turtle king slowly ascending his throne with weary malaise, his loyal golden retriever by his side. Only when the sounds of a shower running reverberated down the corridor did Okumura-san actually start cooking.

 

“Akira, I’ll be making a few bowls of shrimp and avocado salad. Feel free to take some if you’re feeling peckish.”

 

“You’re making salad with those?” Akira gestured to the miso paste and leftover dishes, to which he laughed and shook his head, gathering the ingredients and putting them back into the fridge.

 

“I wanted to cook something closer to home, but since you already had toast I figured I’ll do it tomorrow,” he exchanged the boiling pot with a salad bowl, washing it along with a head of mignonette lettuce under the sink. “Plus, I feel kind of bad.”

 

“Huh? Why? For what?”

 

“Ash is usually snarkier when I tease him. I don’t think he’s feeling too well-- I shouldn’t have woken him up,” Okumura-san looked contemplative, looking at the salad bowl in his hands. “Hopefully his favourite salad will cheer him up.”

 

 _Huh_. Akira mused.

 

\---

 

“Huh? Where’s Akira?” the scrap of a chair across the tiled floor echoed, the towel on his head still partially wet. “I thought she wanted to visit central park today.”

 

“She went back to sleep. Jet lag. Funnily enough, Buddy’s napping in his bed too,” Eiji flipped another page of today’s news, the tuft of bed hair comically peeking over the top of the page, still unnoticed by his husband. Ash couldn’t help but smooth out the tuft, to which Eiji swatted his hand away in response. “If you still want breakfast, there’s salad in the fridge.”

 

“Salad? Baby did you-” Ash opened the fridge, brightening at the sight of his favourite meal glad wrapped in a large salad bowl. “-Nice!”

 

“If you’re tired you should go back to sleep too. You were still typing on your phone when I fell asleep yesterday,” Eiji sighed as he folded and placed the newspaper to the side, grabbing a coaster and table mat for Ash’s coffee and breakfast respectively. “Don’t tell me the university is  _still_ sending you work emails?”

 

“Nah, mostly students who want me to give them a last minute referral letter,” Ash placed his freshly brewed mug of coffee and his breakfast bowl on his side of the kitchen table, his towel now hanging off the back of the chair. “Also, the university’s offering me a tenure.”

 

“Huh? That’s a good thing right?” Eiji gasped. “You’ll be the youngest tenured professor! You’ve worked so hard for this!”

 

“I’ve worked hard to make sure my students are actually learning something, the research was secondary,” he sipped a bit of his coffee, his face scrunching up when he found it too hot. Maybe he’ll start on the salad first. “I don’t want the attention-- the last time they made me a professor was a nightmare. Academia politics is bullshit.”

 

“If I didn’t know you so well, what you’ve just said just made you sound like a huge pompous asshole,” Eiji shook his head, his expression half exasperated, half fond. “Regardless, I’m really proud of you dear.”

 

“But baby,” he dramatically twirled his salad fork in the air, letting a smirk escape him. “I _am_ a huge pompous asshole.”

 

Eiji blatantly ignored him, opting to place his own dirty dishes into the sink, his sleeves rolled up. “Just tell the department head not to make a big deal out of it.”

 

“What did you think I was writing yesterday?” Ash waved the phone in the air with his free hand before settling it back on the wooden table. “I told him that I’ll accept it, but if he does anything similar to last time I’m kicking his fucking ass.”

 

“Please tell me you didn’t word it like that.”

 

“Alright sweetheart. _I didn’t word it like that._ ”

 

“Oh my god _Aslan_.”

 

“I’m telling the truth!” he raised his fork yet again, the utensil pointing to his phone screen. “Please, I’m a professor. Paraphrasing is my forte.”

 

“You’re unbelievable,” Eiji sounding more amused than annoyed. The sound of running water soon stopped, signalling the completion of Eiji’s washing. Sock-padded footsteps came closer, until Eiji was next to Ash, where he leaned down to place a tender kiss to his cheek. Ash unconsciously smiled, raising and tilting his head to give Eiji more access, the blonde chasing the warmth just a tad when Eiji drew back.

 

“Congratulations sunshine,” another kiss to the temple, and then to his eyelid. “I’m truly am proud of you, even if you’re a huge pompous asshole.”

 

“And as of today, this huge pompous asshole is officially on paid leave,” Ash yawned as he grinned, still high from Eiji’s praise and kisses, his arms crossed behind his head as he titled his chair off the floor. “And it’ll coincide nicely with the university’s winter recess as well. Time to do absolute fuck all!”

 

“I still have one more day of work today, even if it’s from home,” Eiji laughed as he straightened Ash’s chair. “It’s just sending off the last of the emails, but I want to make sure I do it right.”

 

“What has you working got to do with my day off?”

 

“I’m just telling you, in advance, not to spontaneously nap on me like a huge lazy cat when I’m using the couch,” Eiji went around to the back, letting his arms hug his shoulders, his cheek pressed against the crown of Ash’s head. “You jostle my laptop too much.”

 

“The accusations!” Ash gasped, pretending to be affronted. His hands met Eiji’s at his front, the feeling familiar, warm and inviting. “Who’s the pompous asshole now?”

 

“Takes one to know one!”

 

“God I fucking love you,” it was Ash’s turn to give a sneaky kiss to the corner of Eiji’s lips, the latter’s responding giggles making his heart swell ten sizes too big. He’s got to be the luckiest man in the world.

 

 

\---

 

 

They ended up cuddling on the couch anyway, go figure.

 

But not for very long, because when lunchtime rolled around, there was someone ringing the doorbell while knocking insistently at the same time.

 

“Hey! Eiji? Ash? You in?”

 

“I’ve gotta go get the door Ash, it’s Sing,” Eiji carefully extracted himself out of Ash’s embrace. The latter grumbled as he straightened himself out, peeking over the top of the couch to see Eiji grabbing the door keys from the shelf basket and opening the door for the large college kid.

 

“Yo!” Sing chirped in greeting, his sling bag chucked to his usual spot behind the couch. He held out a bag for Eiji. “Special custard bun delivery for the Callenreese’s, fresh from the kitchens of Chang Dai.”

 

“But we didn’t order anything,” Eiji gingerly took the bag from Sing, peering down into the neon coloured plastic bag. True to his word, Eiji took out two styrofoam boxes, the smell of custard pungent.

 

“Nah these are a token of thanks, for-- you know, crashing your place during the exams,” Sing scratched at the back of his head, his smile sheepish. “And for cooking for me when you didn’t have to.”

 

“You’re not eating cup noodles in our house-- not when I can easily make you a proper meal,” the boxes were relocated to the living room table, his hand then patting Sing’s shoulder in comfort. “You’re family to us Sing, you don’t have to pay us back or anything.”

 

“That room is practically yours anyway,” Ash added his two cents from the couch. “Even told the newcomer that a punk kid lives there.”

 

“Ibe’s niece? I thought she was arriving next month- _hey wait a minute_ fuck you too man!”

 

“You come into my fucking house, disrespect my fucking--”

 

“Akira and Buddy are still sleeping! Keep it down!” Eiji hissed, cutting into the conversation. “And no more swearing while Akira’s here!”

 

“--Yes honey--”

 

“--Okay Eiji--”

 

“Good,” he harrumphed before clapping his hands together. “Now Sing, would you like to stay for noodles?”

 

 

\---

 

 

“Sorry for sleeping in,” Akira mumbled, shuffling meekly to a seat at the kitchen table, which Sing had helped to set up before she arrived.

 

“Hey, it’s okay kid. We still have time to go to central park later,” Ash passed her the requested cup of hot tea, before tossing a can of bepsi to Sing at the end of the table. “Hey Akira, I don’t think you’ve met Sing. Did Eiji or your uncle tell you anything about him?”

 

“Uh,” Akira looked deep in thought, twiddling her fingers. “...the flying dragon boy?”

 

Sing did a spit take, making a mess at his end of the table while Ash burst into boisterous laughter. The boy then proceeded to curse under his breath, the words thankfully drowned out by the noise of the exhaust fan at Eiji’s end of the kitchen.

 

“You, Akira, are doing _fantastic._ ”

 

“I was _fourteen_ okay? You’ve got to admit dragons are pretty fucking badass--”

 

“Language kid,” he was pretty sure he’s donning a large chesire grin at this point. “You heard my man-- we’re helping him keep this household tame and wholesome.”

 

“Uh, maybe we could help Okumura-san with the cooking?” Akira pointed to the man in question, who was struggling to grab something from the taller shelves of the cooking cupboards. “You should be able to reach the shelves right? I would like to help but I’m definitely not _tall_ enough--”

 

“Nuh-uh. Rule number one of this household squirt,” Sing ruffled her hair, interrupting her sentence. “We don’t ever say the T-word to Eiji in this context. Or the S-word. Or the H-word--”

 

“Heck? Hell? Hfuc-”

 

“No that's not it,” Ash spared a quick glance to his husband innocently cooking up some noodles, huffing and puffing as he tiptoed to get the spices from the top cupboard, even though the stepping stool was _right there_.

 

After a few agonising minutes, where all three of them openly stared at Eiji desperately trying to reach for the spice container, it managed to finally drop off the ledge. The spice container, however, also knocked off a can of condensed milk in its descent, which landed square on Eiji’s head.

 

“ _Fucking shit!”_

 

“Eiji you hypocrite!” Sing and Ash both called out simultaneously with a little too much cheek, while Akira just laughed and laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> "tall, short, height"  
> In this household we appreciate our smols


End file.
